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Who said it would be easy??

28 Jun

I should have learned from watching other people, that maintaining a healthy relationship is definitely not the easiest thing in the world. Learning how to become two when you’re so used to being “you” is not a fucking cake walk. Im assuming that going into the partnership, you kind of already learned a persons makeup and have agreed to accept all that comes along with them right? Otherwise why commit to it? Part of the reason you fall in love with someone is because you are intrigued with the mystery of it all. The differences, the challenges they present, the excitement and opposing attraction provided by human nature. (opposites attract right?)I am realizing that although we say we accept a persons faults, defaults and shortcomings, some part of us still remain out for self. I am struggling to grasp the fact that things i need in order to be happy are not necessarily what my partner needs to be happy. (Where they do that shit at?) The mandatory compromise and sacrifice demanded by a relationship can prove to be a trying obstacle to overcome. Somewhere in the midst of you seeking your own happiness, the happiness of your partner may or may not become subject to neglect and/or disregard. What do you do in instances like this? This is where the work comes in to play. Because by no means do you ever want to see your potential life mate unhappy because of you. And you damn sure dont want to be the one on the sad end of the stick due to your partner seeking their own happiness. I ask how do you reach a happy median? One that is pleasing and accommodating to all parties involved? You know, that place where EVERYONE is smiling and okay with the state of the relationship. Is that even possible? I think the world would be a pretty boring place if everybody did the same shit. It seems as if there will always be one thing or another that displeases you, but brings your partner the utmost joy. Do you do away with the realtionship as a whole or just continue to do what pleases you even if it upsets your mate to no end? What would be the breaking point where you just get tired of looking at this sad sack of potatoes everytime you come in the damn house? Do you expect the person to just conform and accept whatever for the sake of you being happy? I mean shit, your love should WANT to see you happy right? But should they have to offer their happiness in exchange for yours? That’s a tad bit selfish don’t you think? The state of confusion i am in right now is what led to this post. I got lost in myown selfishness at some point in my relationship where i caught myself thinking, “What the fuck is wrong with him, all I’m asking him to do is ……….blazaysplee.” Never once thinking that the thing i deem so minuscule could be like moving a mountain. I always say i am not trying to change him, but i think i am. Does expecting him to automatically alter certain things count? I dont think so. And correct me if i am wrong, but i feel that once you enter into a relationship, your are contractually obligated to change. Just for the simple fact that you are no longer the single you you used to be. Period.If you wanted to keep acting single, you should have stayed your ass the fuck single. What if it wasnt you, but your partner who was behaving like a onesie? How happy would you damn be? This love shit is some crazy shit! The fact of the matter is this, its damn near impossible to be 100% happy in a real-lationship, and thats fine, the hard part is actually accepting it. I guess in the end, if the relationship is worth having, its worth a little sacrificing of emotions (equally) to be able to live with the one you cant live without. By NO means am i saying become a damn doormat (fuck dat shit!), but a little compromise couldnt hurt. You know? Its cool if you dont, because im not sure if i know for real. But i do know what it feels like to be unhappy without the one you love and I’ve learned how it feels to be unhappy with the one you love as well. I think I’d take the latter. To a certain extent no doubt. Basically what im saying is, in the words of Betty Wright, “Anything worth having at all, worth working for and waiting for.” No pain, no muthafuckin gain. #ThatIsAll